sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
