She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize