I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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