We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
