I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
