He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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