Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
