i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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