I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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