so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
