i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize