I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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