grandma shit on top of the toilet
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
