I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
