A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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