It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
