i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
