3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
