i would one night stand the shit outta him
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i've created a new STD.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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