i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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