When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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