Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
