Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
