i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
