grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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