Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
