you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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