My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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