I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
