so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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