so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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