I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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