so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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