I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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