I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just want to make out with him forever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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