i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
