Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
