at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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