Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize