My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
