There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
