I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
