Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
