These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
