I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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