another moral hangover. fuck.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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