i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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