Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
