I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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