My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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