Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
