Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
