So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize