omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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