i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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