Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
