2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
