I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
