are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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