I just threw up on my dentist
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
