I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
