I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
