last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
