At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
