All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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