The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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