You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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